On Friday I was told to leave my position at the company that acquired us earlier than the contract indicated.  A call around 11, from some HR VP in another state, said I no longer need to come into the office.  In fact, could I be packed up and out by 4:00, they will be shutting off my access to the system.   No thank you, no group goodbye, no email to customers and staff.  A few employees gave me a hug, and helped carry some memories out to my car, but after 38 years in the industry, it seemed so anticlimactic.  I’m ready to leave, don’t get me wrong. I have other things, projects, and business opportunities I want to work on, so I’m more than ready to leave.  I’ve had a successful career in aerospace and defense engineering business, and analytically and logically it’s time.  But there is a passionate, bold part of me that wants something more, that feels like there is more to this career stuff than a paycheck, and that part of me feels cheated of a proper ending to this part of my career.  The other logical part of me that ensures I make it through life to the end, and keeps me centered and healthy, says get out while the getting is good, and move on. Besides this is what corporate America is today… a bit cold-hearted it seems.

All this made me think of an article I read about a man with two hearts.  His artificial heart was lower in his body, so it felt different, it kept him alive and did its function, but it’s beat no longer told him about passion, it robbed him of his inspiration, and intuition.  It kept him alive allowing him to grow older, but seemingly it made him feel like he was outside of himself, not recognizing himself.  Maybe we all have something like that, the passionate heart that is disappointed with the cold logic of business, partnerships, and more, and the one we live with that ensures we never get too worked up and keeps us healthy as we grow…

The Two Hearts of Mine

The heart I live with, ensures life and health as I grow old

The heart I love with, is ever young, passionate and bold

These two hearts play on this scarred battleground landscape

Locked together and intertwined so neither can escape

They define who I am, these two beating hearts of mine

They battle for the essence of soul and eternal mind

Neither may ever truly win

As they go around and around again