I know I often try to write something uplifting and positive… not feeling it right now.  I’m still dealing with cough that the “Dude in 9C” was dealing with and it’s been about a month. Many suffer long term illnesses much worse than this, I have real respect for those that endure and continue to keep spirit positive!

 

Illness Normal

 

Whooping is a bad name

Sounds too cute

Gasping or Chocking is a better name

Coughing leading to gasping for air

Has no cuteness about it.

 

Accept it, this is the new normal

Sleep is elusive and scary

Cough is a movement away

And gasping, chocking right behind it

Nothing cute about whooping

 

I experiment… how to calm that feeling of drowning

How to hold breath when everything screams breathe

Air is all around me, and I can’t get any at all

Wide awake, panic, and yet I know I have to be calm

And the air comes in just in time to fuel another spasm of cough

 

During the day, I am upright

So, I get by with short coughing fits

Gasping and drowning is for at night

Sleep in between so I can be up during the day

Courage is prerequisite to go to sleep

 

It’s only been a month, maybe a couple more to go

At first I thought it impossible

Now it’s a new normal, and I’m committed to endure

I have new appreciation for those suffering long term illness

Coping is frustrating, nothing cute about it